Gray

Gray
by Cameron Gilmore

Gray. The walls, the ceiling, the floor, even the blanket on the bed beneath me – everything is gray. The walls inch towards me, creating a smaller and smaller space. I can’t breathe. I pull my knees closer to my chest and close my eyes to try to steady my breath. But it’s useless. I know I will never escape the walls of the prison that entrap me. I’ll be here forever. This is the rest of my life.

“Can u meet @ 8 to review Calc HW?” It’s my senior year of high school and I need desperately to bring my grades up before the semester ends. Otherwise, I’m destined to schlep bags of mulch at Henderson’s Landscaping for the rest of my life. My best friend, Kevin, is a whiz at math and has graciously agreed to help turn my C into an A. Thank God for friends. I know he’s heading to swim practice soon, so I’m sending him a quick text to catch him before he makes other plans for later…

The force of the airbag slams my head back against the headrest. The sound of it releasing is deafening. The world around me spins. After what seems like an eternity, the car comes to a stop. It takes me several seconds to I realize I’ve drifted off the road and struck a utility pole. Deep breaths. I move my head. I move my arms and legs. My hands are trembling uncontrollably, but I’m otherwise unharmed. Thank you, God. I feel each muscle of my body relax as a sense of relief calms my panic. I’ve seriously mangled my Mom’s car, but it could have been so much worse…

But as the ringing in my ears begins to subside, I hear the screaming sobs of a child. Glancing in my rear view mirror I see a young girl, maybe 10 or 12, clutching the convulsing body of a small dog. Dear God, what have I done? I scramble from the car and rush to her side to find her tiny hand still clutching the end of the bloodied pug’s leash as his body grows still and limp. The realization hits me. She had been walking the dog by the side of the road. I struck and killed her beloved companion. How close must I have come to hitting her?

I shake my head and the colorful blues and greens of my bedroom comforter emerge through my tears. I wasn’t charged with a crime and my parents forgave me for wrecking the car. But I will never forgive myself. I came within inches of taking the life of that girl. And although she is alive, she is not unscathed. She watched the life of her best friend slip away in her arms. She will never forget. Nor will I. I may not be incarcerated, but my prison, self-imposed though it may be, is just as real.

_______________________

Texting while driving is responsible for well over a million automobile accidents each year, with several thousand of those resulting in the loss of human life. But even the hundreds of thousands that don’t directly take a life often have life-changing consequences. The same can be said for eating your lunch or touching up your make-up. Distracted driving has permanent consequences.

The story above is just that – a story. But it could very well be true. I know the dangers of distracted driving, but I didn’t always heed the warnings. Fortunately for me, I made the commitment to stop after being asked by my mom to write an essay, like the one above, describing how I would feel if my behavior were to cause a serious accident. The activity was a life changing experience for me. I would like to see every state in the U.S. make writing such an essay a core requirement for teens before they earn the right to drive. Maybe, it will have the same effect on others as it did on me. A life may be at stake.