Taking Back the Wheel

Isadora De Souza

14 June 2020

I always thought that driving was meant to be a rite of passage. I took drivers ed in school, and just assumed that when I became of age, I would get a license. I was a bit behind the rest of my class. They all got their permits and then provisional licenses on the exact day that they became 16 and 17, as those were the required minimums in New Jersey where I grew up. Whereas I was a year behind, because it was free that way and my family did not have money for extra expenses.

Throughout those years, I was in my prime as a drinking alcoholic. I was typically getting rides from others, going to any lengths to just get more booze. On some level, I understood that drunk driving was serious. When I was a child, my dad was often drunk at the wheel and we had gotten into some really scary situations.

Yet in my own experience, being fueled by alcohol and the desperate need for more, I didn’t really realize how easy it would be to just put the keys in the ignition. A week before my 18^th birthday, my best friend and I took out her parents’ car without permission. We went to several places, all for the purpose of drinking. By the time we realized we had to get the car back before her parents woke up, we were in a panicked rush.

On a dimly lit street in an unfamiliar part of town, I took a turn too quickly and crashed into a brick wall that was surrounding someone’s house. After the crash which totaled the car, I checked on my best friend (who was fine thankfully) and got out of the car, and checked to see if there was any blood or any sign of having hurt someone. That kind of pain and fear is not really one I can put into words. I am so grateful that I didn’t hurt anyone, and that I instead learned a valuable lesson.

My license was suspended from this before I ever got it. THANK GOODNESS. The matter ended up taking 7 years to resolve, and I was only able to amend the situation when I was about a year sober. I am now gratefully coming up on 6 years of sobriety! I had a very unorthodox drivers ed experience, but I do my best to convey how important this is to other people in AA. This feels important and impactful for me to share my honest experience with other people who have been known to be menaces to society in the same way that I was. I hope to be one of the people who had to have a trial by fire education so that others don’t have to. I also now feel extremely preoccupied with road safety. I just purchased my first car, after being certain I was ready, and teach my girlfriend how to drive too! It feels good to be able to know that I am equipped to safely transport those I love and care about.