Somebody I Used to Know

Somebody I Used to Know

The Gray marble urn in my Aunt Karen’s house haunts me. It’s a constant reminder at every holiday of Chris’ absence and why he’s not here with us. I was one of the lucky ones who was able to finish my Driver’s Ed classes just before the Covid pandemic hit full force. I was supposed to take my road test on April 29th, 2020, the week of my 17th birthday, but it was postponed. Maybe it was for the best. Even though I felt that I was prepared for my road test since I felt that Driver’s Ed really helped me to learn the proper way to drive, the rules of the road and what NOT to do when driving, the delay in taking my road test gave me more of an opportunity to practice driving for a few months. There was really nowhere for me to go anyway since everything was shut down, so it was time well spent.

On April 23rd, 2020, we had just memorialized the 10th year since my cousin Christopher died. As a kid, Chris was my idol. He was super smart, good looking, and popular . He started out like me, a “geek” who swore he would never touch a drop of alcohol, smoke, do drugs or speed in his car. But by age 17, he shed his fears and was doing all of these things on a daily basis. I was too young to realize what he was doing then, or that 3 days before my 8th birthday that these things would kill him. When he died, I didn’t understand what happened. My parents felt I was too young to explain it all to me, so they simply told me that he died in a car accident. It wasn’t until I was about 12 or 13 when they told me the truth…that he died speeding in his car with his friends while drinking and smoking pot. They veered off the highway and crashed into a tree, killing himself and his friend. His other friend was severely injured.

According to a New York Times article on January 1, 2021, at least 243 people died in car crashes in New York City alone in 2020. Most of these deaths were caused by reckless driving. People were speeding, drinking and driving or were distracted (usually because of their cell phones or having friends in the car). A majority of the deaths were younger people. These driving related deaths are just a small number compared to the overall number of driver related deaths across the United States every year. A majority of these deaths were preventable if the lessons taught in Driver’s Ed would have been followed. Driver’s Ed teaches people the ways to make driving safe, not just for themselves, but for everyone around them including other drivers and pedestrians. Anyone can get behind a wheel and drive but it is important to know the rules of the road, safe driving techniques and the consequences of things like drunk and distracted driving. It’s called being responsible and if you’re driving a car, you are responsible for everything that happens while driving. If everyone not only took Drivers Ed, and followed the recommendations it teaches, these fatal accidents would never have happened. Had Christopher followed these rules, he would still be alive today instead of being just a pile of ashes in a cold gray marble urn on the mantle of my aunt’s fireplace. He wouldn’t just be a 10 year old memory from my childhood, the cousin that would never grow old with us. I am now the same age as he was when he died. I will not make those same mistakes.

I will make sure that when I am driving, that I will obey all traffic laws and speed limits. When I am old enough to drink, I will make sure that I take car service if I have been drinking or I will call someone to come get me if I need to get home. I will shut off my phone or put it in a place in my car where I won’t be tempted to look at it or use it while driving. I know that I can’t promise that I won’t ever have friends in my car, but if I do I will make sure they all wear seatbelts and I can ask them not to be distracting to me as much as possible. I would even turn my music to a lower volume. They might find this unnecessary or boring, but at least I am showing that I car about them and about the people around me. When I am a passenger in someone else’s car, I will make sure I use my seatbelt, not be a distraction to them and try my best to make sure they don’t violate the rules of speeding or cell phone use. I can tell them that if they can’t follow the rules, that I cannot be in the car with them because they are responsible for other lives too.

I think that Driver’s Ed should be mandatory for all drivers, regardless of their age. I understand that younger drivers are more likely to be less cautious, but I still feel that in order to get a license, everyone should have to take safe driving classes. It shouldn’t be just for teens or to get your insurance prices lowered. Maybe if it was provided by each state for free, more people would take the class. I think these thing might help reduce the number of driving accidents.

I miss my cousin Chris and I wish he was still here, but he’s not. He doesn’t see how his death affected our family, the families of the friends he killed, or everyone else who misses them. He is now simply an example of what NOT to do and a sad statistic of the consequences of doing the wrong thing.