What if it was you?

What If It Was You?

It’s never meant to be you. Everyone thinks it could never be them, because why would it? Out of the 34,000 deaths annually as a result of driving, why would it be you? Would you care if it was you? Or, would you care more if it was a loved one of yours and you were left to pick up the pieces? Let me give you a scenario. For the rest of this essay, think of the person you are closest with in the world. Your sister, your brother, your best friend, your grandmother, or maybe your mom. What if one of those 34,000 deaths this year was one of them?

It was any other Friday; except this Friday you are getting ready for a vacation. You are going to Universal Studios with all of your friends. You get to sleep in, because you aren’t leaving for Universal until 9:00, but you hear your sister leaving the house early. You think to say goodbye, but your sleeping so well, and you’ll see her later anyways. So, you sleep in.

You wake up, you go to Universal and you have an absolute blast. They just opened the Harry Potter ride and you can’t wait to go see it. It starts to get dark and you get a call from your mother. She seems off, but you shake it off. You don’t have time to slow down, you’re at Universal, how cool? I’m sure everything is fine, you think, I should just go have fun. Then, you do just that. You have the best time in the world.

After a long and exhausting day, you feel so whole when you get back from your trip. What a fun day?

Until you see your dad, who greets you with no smile on his face. “Hey dad, what’s up? Is everything okay?” You see tears in his eyes. “Hey,” he says, “I need to talk to you.” What could possibly be this bad, you think. You and he sit down. His voice is shaky, “Your sister was out riding on the motorcycles today with her friends. There was a crash.” My sister must be okay. “Well, where is she? Can I go see her?” you say. Silence. Tears start falling from your eyes before you know why, your dad still doesn’t answer. “I mean, she’s okay right?” Now, shaking with anticipation you don’t even want the answer anymore. “No,” says dad. Now, he’s crying. You’ve never seen him like this before. “Well, I need to go see her, where is she? What happened?” you say, “Did she- “, you stop. You wait for your dad to say something, anything, but, he doesn’t. “She made it, right?” Your father shakes his head. “No, I’m so sorry.’

“What? What do you mean? You’re wrong. You have to be wrong. Where is she?”

This can’t be happening.

“She’s at Blake Memorial with your mom. She- She died a few hours ago.”

While you were at Universal, your sister was riding on the back of a motorcycle and was hit by a drunk driver. He was an off-duty police officer. He blew a .34 BAC.

She was hit by an SUV. She flew off the bike and was ran over by the front and rear left tires.

She had a brain bleed that the doctors tried their best to repair. By the time they found the bleeding in her chest, it was too late to help.

Your sister is gone. She’s gone and you didn’t even say goodbye that morning.

I wish more than anything that this was theoretical. This is the story of how my sister died when I was 14. My sister’s name was Ally Marler and she was only 20 years old. She was the most happy, beautiful and vibrant woman I will ever meet. She was a good sister, a great friend and an amazing mother to her daughter that was only 3 years old. I never thought it would be me, but even worse, I never could have imagined that it would be her. Why was my sister one of the 37,461 people that died in a crash in 2016? She was a victim to a careless action. The man who was behind the wheel of that SUV chose to get intoxicated way beyond the legal limit, and then chose to drive. That man made a choice that day that resulted in the death of my sister.

For him, it was a normal Friday night. For my family, it was the night that changed our lives forever. It was the night that forever stole my built-in life partner from me. That one choice cost my parents their oldest daughter, caused her friends a traumatic experience, the loss of their friend, the loss of my sister and the mother of my wonderful niece.

One of our priorities as a society should be educating our drivers from when we are in high school to keep these devastations from happening. We need to present the facts and the possibility of it being anyone, anywhere, and at any time. There were 37,460 other deaths that year, why wouldn’t it be your family? The only way to accomplish proper education is through culture. Safe driving should not only be taught as a priority, but a normality. This should be a normality that every driver adheres to and fully understands the consequences.

This man never thought leaving his house that day that he’d be making the choice to kill an innocent girl but, he took that chance by driving unsafely. Personally, I’ve been affected by his choice every day since May 7, 2016 and I would never make a choice to put someone else’s sister, brother, mother, father or best friend in this sort of danger or put them through that pain. These are decisions we make every day. Did you text anybody on the way to work this morning? Are you guilty of eating or fidgeting with the radio while you’re behind the wheel? Did you drink a few beers last weekend and drive yourself home? How often do you speed or run red lights?

We all make choices, don’t let yours be the one to ruin a family.