Uncle Joseph

Safe driving is a subject near and dear to my heart. In 2009, my brother, named Joseph, and his coworker were driving home from a work trip in another state. Though they had ample time to get back before having to report for work, they decided to push through and take turns driving through the night. My brother’s coworker was behind the wheel when he began to get very tired. My brother was in the passenger seat, asleep, improperly restrained. Rather than pull off the road to get some rest, the coworker kept driving, thinking he could keep himself awake. He was unsuccessful. He fell asleep at the wheel and the two men were jolted awake when the truck was suddenly flipping in midair after hitting a guardrail. The driver had his seatbelt properly secured and he walked away from the accident with barely a scratch. My brother, who had chosen to loosen his seatbelt to get more comfortable, did not survive.

Thirteen years later, I am a mother of five young children. I am acutely aware of the many dangers that could befall them, particularly those that are waiting for them on the road. When my children protest having to sit in their car seats or wear their seatbelts properly, all I have to do is mention Uncle Joseph’s name and they quickly comply. Though they’ve never met him, they know so much about him, including his tragic story. His accident was a catalyst in my reevaluation of my own driving habits and of safe driving in general. It has caused me to look more deeply into driver education to truly understand the laws and rules of the road and safe driving practices. I have encountered countless situations where tragedy nearly occurred, and sadly did occur in some cases, because it was evident other drivers did not fully know the rules or strategies to stay out of harm’s way. Everyone who legally drives are required to prove the same basic knowledge and competent skills of driving, but not everyone takes that knowledge and those skills to heart. Perhaps they’ve never had a loved one experience death or injury from dangerous driving practices, so they don’t realize just how vulnerable we all are on the road. Perhaps they feel a false sense of security, thinking the massive metal shell that they ride in will protect them, even if they stop paying attention for a while. This simply isn’t true, however. If we all better understood the consequences of our actions and what we can do to reduce hazards while driving, the roads would be much safer. The number of families who experience a loved one, gone too soon, would drastically drop.

Increasing safety, I believe, starts with education. The criteria for demonstrating sufficient knowledge and skills on the driving exams should be more rigorous. The classes offered should be more in depth and include more real-world applications. Additionally, I think requiring annual or biannual driving exams would also lead to an increase in safe driving and reducing the number of deaths on the road. My parents each got their driver license nearly 60 years ago. That means they haven’t taken a driving exam in over half a century. The world has changed, cars have changed, technology has changed, laws have changed, conditions have changed. Things are drastically different even from when I started driving 20 years ago. We all need to continually be refreshing our knowledge and skills. Finally, the laws punishing driving offenses should be more severe. For example, I am constantly dumbfounded by the proverbial “slap on the wrist” given to those who drive under the influence. Intoxicated driving is one of the most selfish things a person can do, in my opinion. There is never a reason to do it and it only serves to put every single person on the road in danger. I know several people who have multiple DUIs each, and the fact that they still have a license and haven’t sat in jail for more than a night or two is astounding to me. Where is the incentive for these people to take safety seriously?

Another example that more recently woke me back up to the importance of safe driving happened 2 years ago when, coincidentally, a friend of mine caused a terrible car accident that forever changed my uncle’s life. My friend was texting while driving and as she approached an intersection, did not realize the light had turned red and the cars in front of her were stopped. She slammed into my uncle’s stationary car, while she was going 45 miles an hour. This pushed my uncle’s car out into the intersection, where he was then struck by cross traffic. He miraculously survived but is paralyzed from the waist down and likely will never walk again. This highlights one of my previous points that so much about our culture, technology, and the conditions in which we drive have changed over the years. We must all be responsible for refreshing our knowledge and awareness often so that we don’t unintentionally ruin someone else’s life.

Today, I speak out when I see unsafe driving. Whether on social media, in person, or in any situation where I witness irresponsible behavior behind the wheel, I take the opportunity to inform of possible outcomes and teach about some of the best ways to be safe. Though my children are all years away from driving, I make sure and teach them about safety, rules, and nuance as we’re out on the road. Whenever I encounter a driving situation where I don’t know the laws, rules, or best practice, I look it up once I’m no longer driving so that I know what to do the next time.

I believe we owe it to each other to be safe, responsible, and take care of one another. That’s part of being a good human.