What Love Really Is

When I was a child I had to tell my mother to drive safe every day before she left the house. She woke up a lot earlier than me, and would often be gone before I woke up, our only contact a kiss on my head while I was sleeping. Now, having this need to say goodbye to her, and rooming in the closest room to the garage, I had an opportunity. I would hear the garage open, wake up and run out in pajamas, and say goodbye. I would look her in the eye and tell her to drive safe. And she always did.

As a kid, I knew my mother was a safe driver and there was no reason for me to worry. Nonetheless, with silly childhood fears, irrational as they were, I was still scared. I loved my mom, and it calmed me to know the last thing I said to her each day was that I loved her and I hoped she’d drive safely. My biggest fear was being ripped away from a loved one suddenly, in the most unpredictable way. Cars. For me, through my fear, love was setting it aside. Sometimes, love is saying goodbye, saying drive safely, and going back to bed. Always, love is putting down the phone, looking both ways, and using a seatbelt.

Since then, I’ve grown up and gained a few things, among them a phone and a driver’s license. Upon acquiring the latter I was strictly instructed to never use them at the same time. I listened. It seems other people did not.

It was only a year past sixteen when two close friends of mine got in serious accidents. My worst fears were coming to fruition, and I couldn’t do anything about it. Lack of information sidelined me each time, and I worried to myself until they were safe. In one of these instances, I was meant to meet a friend at the mall, but he had gotten into a crash on the way. I was frustrated that he was so late and called him, but his mom answered instead, explaining. I was given no more information than, “This is his mom. He won’t be coming, he got into a crash.” Heart wrenched and worried, I had my mom and my brother pick me up and collect my car. There are some times you shouldn’t be driving.

Through witnessing multiple driving accidents with close friends, I have learned a few things.

1. Nothing is more important than coming home to your family. Safe.

2. The text is not worth it.

3. The video is not worth it.

4. The distraction is not worth it.

It is all too common for teenagers to wreck their first vehicles due to inexperience and inattention. My parents and other role models have often told me they believe the driving age should be higher so as to ensure a higher level of cognitive ability. As this is not the case, it is the responsibility of each driver and their community to teach as much as possible about safe driving. The more young drivers are exposed to safe driving practices, the more likely they are to follow them as well. This introduces the responsibility of each driver to set an example.

It has become normalized for teenagers to text and drive, not pay attention, or drive with little to no sleep. Knowing so many dangerous drivers are out there, I’ve made it a personal mission to ensure I reach those closest to me. I enforce seatbelt usage in my car, and strongly encourage my friends and family to use theirs. I will send messages and navigate for friends so they can focus on the road, and I request they do so for me as well. As important as each of our lives are, I find it reckless and cruel to drive unsafely. I have always been firmly attached to the idea that someone’s love for you is clear in how they act, and love lies in sticking around. There is no compassion in unsafe driving. What about those who want you around? I needed my mom to know I was thinking of her safety throughout the day. It was my way of keeping her safe. Now, my mom sends me off to college with a warning to check both sides of the road before pulling out. She tells me, “It’s dangerous out there. People drive too fast.” So I laugh, and I think of our similarities, and I remember. Always, love is putting down the phone, looking both ways, and using a seatbelt. So I do.